He grew up in a small cottage at the very end of the village. The house was ramshackle, and living in it was dangerous. His mother was afraid that some night walls would collapse and bury all the family. Five hundred yards from the place he was making his first steps was a border: barbed wire, the guards with machine guns and empty fields. When he came to school, other pupils and teachers laughed at him–of his dirty hands, holes in his socks and protruding, dirty ears. And he told them “I do not care you are laughing, but I care about me. I will fight, and I will change my situation”.
He started to fight, and he was stubborn, oh boy how stubborn he was. He cared, he had the motivation. He fought and fought, and he never gave up.
Eighty now, he still is poor and mocked.
This is a myth that says: “If you will have motivation if you will care strongly if you will fight tooth and nail – you will change your situation”. All Hollywood movies assure ascertain abut it. The underdog fights his way to the top with sounds of the symphonic orchestra in the background.
Have you ever sees a movie about a character who had the motivation and gained nothing? I doubt. But there a lot of such characters around us. But the reality is not suitable to sell.
We imbue with this myth. We are talking to ourselves: I have to be strong and motivated because everything depends on it.
Bullshit. Of course, motivation is important. Nobody says it is without meaning. But you can have a lot of motivation and no skill and possibilities.
All that personal development stuff concentrates on dreams and emotions. All these motivation challenges focused on “don’t give up”. You can be sturdy, persistent, gritty and stupid.
Dreams are important, but even more important is reality. If you want to change your situation, you need to assess meticulously your skills and possibilities and then take action building your possibilities. It is not about “not giving up” it is about wise development.
I have a feeling I’ve lost the first three weeks of this project. I have tried to build in myself the courage to hang in. But it was not that courage I needed the most. Much more I need the courage to confront my reality and asses my skills and possibilities. And bravery to find the ways addressing my weak points.