There was a gap in the chain of this writing. It had several reasons.
Exaggerated expectations were one of them. I wished to have too much and too quick. Low down your standards. Expect less. It is a simple remedy. Do not imagine you can write. You can’t. You are only a novice. Your language is stiff, unskilled, you sound broken, like inept machine translation. What worse you learning very slow. It is bitter medicine, but live-saving. In such endeavors, humility forms the basis.
Be humble, but not sluggish. You have low skills, but this does not mean you can resign and avoid effort. Be around. Engage. Do not avoid what you can’t do. Do it, whatever effect will be. You produce rubbish: no problem. Shit is acceptable. But do this shit with all your powers and all skills you have at this moment. Try to exceed your possibility by a whisker.